Barkai, John
Description
This unique book contains over 3,000 phrases (called gambits) for more than 400 negotiation and mediation topics that negotiators, mediators, mediatio
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n advocates, and judges can say to be more effective in their settlement work. Those gambits are mainly focused on breaking impasses, which is heart and most difficult part of conflict resolution. The word “gambit” in this book means the opening words, phrases, or sentences in a conversation that provide the transition to a new topic. These gambits will improve your negotiation and mediation skills.
I have collected thousands of gambits over the 40+ years that I have been a mediator, mediation teacher, and mediation trainer. The gambits came from class assignments, books, articles, videos, trainings, friends, and many that I have made up myself. The best of those gambits are the heart of this book.
Use this book to shop for negotiation and mediation gambits in this book like shopping for clothes. Sort through piles of them within the book, focus on a few, and try them on. Say the ones you like best. Make some alterations in the wording to fit your conflict resolution approach and personal style, and then display them proudly as you stride towards successful conclusions in your negotiations and mediations.
The following 100 gambit topics are representative of the over 400 topics in the book:
make and ask for the first offer
concessions
counter offers
conditional and contingent offers
final offers
apologies
active listening
agent of reality
anticipate negative reactions
baseball binding mediation
be evaluative by asking questions
bracketing
break through “I can’t say”
bridge the gap
cartoons
chance it
change minds
clients-only meeting
close the gap
compliment productive behavior
confidential listener
converts statements into offers
create doubts
decision tree
don’t say “concession”
draw from a hat
endowment effect
expand incomplete responses
explain confidentiality
fantasy football draft
ask the mediator to take ownership
flip for it
frame the choice as a gain
generalize
get control of an unproductive process
get next moves from them
highlight common interests
humor
“I once had a case”
“if” statements
“in principle” technique
indirect way to break impasse
“It’s the principle of the thing”
last and final offer
last gap distribution
lawyers-only meeting
loss and mourning the dispute
make a global summary
make no free concessions
match eagles with eagles
mediator’s proposal
money - change its “shape”
“My lawyer says I have a good case”
negotiate over mediator’s proposal
net recovery technique
normalize
paradoxical intervention
parallel option development
pick-a-pile
postpone a difficult issue
prioritize interests
probe for underlying interests
propose both compromise
quotations
range bargaining
reactive devaluation
reciprocal apologies and concessions
reframe
respond to insulting first offers
respond to uncomfortable mediator questions
restate their proposal
risk analysis
role reversal
Rule 68 offers
seek coaching
selective perception
settle half the case
“So you think you are going to trial,”
split the difference
sports bonus contract
state all agreements so far
structured settlement
sunk costs
take 49 percent
temper extreme offers
test the margins
the great escape
the message in an offer
transitions to proposals
trial period
two offers at once
umbrella summarizing question
uncertainty of estimates
way out with dignity
what would it be worth
whisper number
“Why did you settle your case?”
“You’ll have to do better than that”
To see the full list of 400+ topics, use Amazon’s “Look inside” feature to view the detailed table of contents and also the index.
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